Tuesday, April 26, 2011

ABC's for lazy bloggers.

I totally stole this from Just Plain Jayne who apparently stole it from someone else who stole it from another making this a kind of chain blog.  Shit.  What a great idea!

A. Age:  I never understood why women lied about their age before.  Now I realize it's because if you don't say it out loud, it isn't as real.

B. Bed size:  Our bed is a KING.  It's too fucking big for our house (let alone the bedroom) but Ben refuses to get rid of it.  And God forbid should I get more than 2 feet on my side at any given time.

C. Chore you dislike:  ALL of them.  Except I kind of like watering plants. 

D. Dogs: People who call their dogs their kids make me want to stab them in the face with a plastic butter knife.  Seriously.  I cannot stress enough how having a dog is NOTHING like having a kid.  NOTHING.

E. Essential start to your day: 4-5 cups of coffee and then a Xanax.  I don't do it often enough.

F. Favorite color: It was purple until Lila took the love of purple to a whole new level.  If you look at my closet you would assume it was either gray or black.

G. Gold or silver: I don't really care either way.

H. Height:  If I say 5'3" then I am only about 4 lbs from being "obese" according to the chart in the doctor's office.  I will say..5'6"  (wink wink)

I. Instruments you play(ED): Would it be wrong for me to say "skin flute"?  Bwahahahahaha!

J. Job title:  Part time Acquisitions Clerk at the library.  Full time bitch at home.

K. Kids: I was never someone who KNEW I wanted them.  And I don't.  One is enough, thanks.

L. Live: Yes.  I would like that.  Thanks.

M. Mom’s name: Sue.  OR Susie.  I really wanted to name my kid after one of my parents but Sue or Susan or Susie wasn't going to work....I settled for her middle name as Lilas middle name but it's not really the same.

N. Nicknames: I never really had one that stuck.  Because my name is SELENA, I got Saliva sometimes...Oh, and Norman Bates.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Only when I had my C-Section.  I was terrified to go home.

P. Pet peeves:  Stupidity.  It's fucking rampant.  That and people who say "supposebly."

Q. Quote from a movie: "IIIIIIII'm Picking out a thermos for you!!!1"  (Steve Martin in the Jerk)

R. Righty or Lefty: Righty tighty.

S. Siblings: One brother who is nearly 10 years older than me, lives in Florida, and who basically disowned me because he thought I was acting slutty when I went to Florida for his wedding because I hooked up with a couple of his friends.

T. Time you wake up: Whenever Ben leaves for work, which varies.  But ideally? noon.

U. Underwear: OK...

V. Vegetables you don’t like: I have to admit, I haven't TRIED a lot of vegetables outside your typical ones (green beans, broccoli, carrots, peas, corn, cauliflower, shit you put into salads..)  I am working on it though.  So far I am sure I hate artichokes...

W. What makes you run late: I am a procrastinator who doesn't care enough to try?

X. X-rays you’ve had: Broke my arm when I was 10 when I was hit by a car...

Y. Yummy food you make: I never considered myself someone who can cook.  But everything I try seems to come out really good.  So I will go with EVERYTHING!

Z. Zoo Animal Favorites: SLOTHS!!!  I love the sloth.  I relate to the way they are all sleepy and matted and slow.  If I could be a sloth, life would be good.

Seriously, what could be better than this?


  1. You're so funny. I'm with you on D. Call your dog a "fur baby" one more time and I might poke you in the eye with a fork.

    I. made me spit my coffee...supposably, sloth is deeeelish.

  2. Gawd! You really make me laugh! I was terrified to go home after that first baby too. O, man... what letter didn't I just laugh at? still chuckling as I click out of this page...

  3. I am a dog lover but I hate those foo foo purse dogs

  4. H is SUCH a good idea! I'm totally stealing that one!

    Z I was just having a conversation with a coworker about how his favorite animal is the sloth. Maybe it's the new trendy animal.

  5. I did this too and our answers are CRAZY similar!
    I couldn't put the skin flute cause my mom reads and would be mortified.
    I chase my coffee with meds.
    Helloooo morning!


I love comments. What did you think?