My kid scraped her leg yesterday. This should not be blog worthy news but there are some things about her that you need to understand.
1. She has NEVER bled. I am not kidding. This kid has this weird inpenetrable skin and has never gotten a real cut. Only bruises and bumps and scrapes that don't bleed. Therefore:
2. Lila believes that a scrape is the most painful thing that can befall a person. There is no way to convey to a kid her age that there are things like broken limbs, head gashes and period cramps that she may have to look forward to.
SO last night Lila was screaming like a banshee because her scrape was hurting her.
I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I am serious when I say she cried for 3 fucking hours about a scrape. I am not downplaying this. See if you can spot the scrape on her little knee:
Yeah it's hard to see. Here is a super enhanced version with scrape seeking technology so that you can actually find the thing that caused 3 hours of misery:
Yes. It's there. No, it isn't a shadow. It's a little scrape. Did I mention that she cried about it for
3 fucking hours?????
After the first hour and a half, it was clear that no amount of pain relief ointment or band aids were going to help. Because she just insisted that it made it hurt more. And finally I had to resort to the mean trick that I swore I would never do. I told her that if it hurts that much, we should go to the hospital and have it removed. The leg.
It's funny how she calmed right down and suddenly it didn't hurt as much anymore. In fact, it felt so much better that she wanted to run around and have some ice cream.