"Mommy has a headache. Mommy is REALLY REALLY TIRED and has a headache because I had the WORST day at work. Let's get your coat on and go home."
Lila just ignored me. My mother tried. "Lila, you can come back and play with your (annoying) toy tomorrow. I will leave it here and it will be here when you come here in the morning." Nothing.
"Lila. It is TIME TO GO!"
That was when the screaming started. Lila is a gifted screamer. She started practicing about a week out of the womb and has truly perfected the art of the ear-busting, brain-sterilizing, skull eradicating scream. Seriously. When Charlie Sheen said that whole thing about mind-melting, exploded bodies or whatever, I thought of my kid screaming.
Under normal circumstances, her scream will give a normal, healthy person an aneurysm. But when you already HAVE a headache it turns it into the most painful, awful blinding kind of headache and you just want to die.
Lila continued the screaming into the car. She did it for the entirety of the 15 minute ride home. I was pretty sure at one point that I blacked out because I have no idea how I got to the exit ramp, but there I was, alive and gripping the steering wheel for dear life at the red light.
Lila screamed as we pulled into the driveway and then proceeded to continue screaming and then started flailing around as I began to undo her seat belt thingy. I threatened to leave her in the car and totally saw myself coming out in the morning to a nice sleeping happy kid, but I knew that my neighbors would TOTALLY call Child Protective Services because they would have heard the screaming and thought that my kid's skin was being peeled off by that guy in Silence of the Lambs.
So I un-buckled her and yanked her out of the car and as she walked into the house she began to calm down. As she plodded up the steps behind me, she was breathing heavy and whining that she was tired. And when we walked in the door, she saw her Daddy. Her eyes lit up. She put a big smile on her face and ran to him and yelled, "DAAADDDDYYYY!!! I AM SOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!"
"Thanks so much for that." I said to no one in particular.