Saturday, March 26, 2011

Saturday Shitlist

I spent a lot of time tooling around the interwebs this week and thanks to #1, I really found a minimal amount of things to put on the list this week.  Feel free to add your own.  I will even give you a grade for participation!

1. The Cold Virus or the Flu, whatever the hell this shit is.  It LOOKS like a cold- all coughs and sneezes, but it FEELS like the Flu, in that I am so exhausted and miserable that I called in sick to work and haven't left the house since Tuesday. 

2. Harry Hunters.  Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! Have you seen these assholes?  (If not, read this )
Yeah, you're going to find Prince fucking Harry and marry him by stalking him for several weeks before his brother's wedding.  I am sure he'd be thrilled to marry some slutty American chick who has a stash of postcards of him and his brother rubber banded together and shoved in her bra. 

I think Harry said it best:
Good luck ladydouches.

3. The entire world.  Has everyone gone fucking crazy?  Because I thought that crazy was my domain.

Hot off the runway for Summer '11.
4. My local community health center.  For adding an large dollop of stress onto my already thoroughly thinly stretched finances and still not managing to cure me.  It's bad enough that I don't have health insurance and have to sit in the ghetto-ass waiting room but then you can't even get my paperwork right so I'm not billed $400 for a Thyroid test that I only got because you told me it was going to cost "next to nothing"?  AND you can't find the results!  FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!!

5. Thomas the Tank Engine.  Wait a second!  I LOVE the NORMAL Thomas.  The simplicity of narrating a bunch of model trains around a neat little model city.  And two of my FAVORITE people on earth narrated!  FANTASTIC!  What I'm talking about is this bullshit computer animated, the trains all talk and have different voices bullshit.  Now it's just another lame cartoon.  And nothing even blows up!

And there was this.  Now it's a lame cartoon.
5. Old Navy's new annoying "Layer Player" bullshit commercial.  As I mentioned above, I have been sick in the house for several days and I don't have cable.  So on my 6 or so channels, I have seen this fucking commercial about 4,793 times.  I have broken down the dance moves in my mind.  They are playing it one every channel during every show.  No, really.  I refuse to embed it on my blog, but here's the link if you want to torture yourself with it:  LINKY

6. The Lottery Mega Millions $312 Million Jackpot.  I don't play the lottery because I am the unluckiest person I know.  But Ben did play and I would have been happy if he matched like 2 of the 6 numbers.  He played 10 different quick-picks.  You know how many of the final 6 numbers he had TOTAL on all his plays?  ONE.

The other reason I don't play the "numbers".
(If you don't get this one, you're not a Lostie)
7. Which reminds me, I am STILL FUCKING PISSED about the ending of Lost. 


  1. #8. Being serenaded by old farts singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" while you're at work.

    Hmmm... maybe that's not shitty.

  2. Along the same lines as your Old Navy commercials, here in Iowa all day long and all night long, no matter what is being played on whatever network channel, you have the big three most horrible commercial sectors: First the miracle drugs that will solve any problem you cna imagine with side effects ranging from the very problem its intended to cure to slow death while your own muscles contract until you suffocate, which goes into the: lawyers who will sue on your behalf for anything that happens in life, including your being overmedicated while trying to avoid every known and imaginary malady you may suffer from, followed finally by: the annuity settlement companies who will give you a pittance of your settlement so you can get a big lump sum...and why do you need that lump sum now??? to waste on lottery tickets and more meds to fix your whole new set of problems!

  3. Is that Alec Baldwin?!?! Oh, fuck me. You know what? I hate every single Old Navy commercial out there. And?! I also hated the end of Lost. Screw you, Lost. Screw you and the smoke monster you rode in on.

  4. Alec Baldwin and George Carlin BOTH narrated Thomas. The pic of George Carlin wasn't as obviously him. That was when it was good though (I believe Ringo Starr actually did too but I he may have just dressed as the conductor). Now its some random person I have never heard of.


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