Thursday, June 2, 2011

CRAP-TASTIC! - No, seriously.

I dont know why Lila sees the toilet as being pure evil.  It's not like I showed her this:

Image from
Well folks, after a year of begging and cajoling and trying ever suggestion (including bribery, trickery and just leaving her alone) Lila managed to take a crap on the toilet on Tuesday.  Not only that, she has crapped Wednesday and this morning as well.

I wish I could say it was her choice.  I wish I could say that I did what any loving and attentive parent would have done and let her come around on her own.  But I didn't.  I simply refused to buy any more pull-ups and it just so happened that she was sick and couldn't really hold it anymore.

I wish I could give credit to the gazillion suggestions I received from you all.  I wish I could say it was because I bribed her with a trip to Target for a new Barbie or because I told her I would take her to Friendly's for ice cream (Yes, I told her both of those things) but it wasn't.  It was just because Ben has a shitload of patience with her begging and crying that I don't have.

He was the hero in this one.  After me trying to talk her through it for about 15 minutes while she cried in sheer terror that she could not properly explain (because she is three), I gave up and called in the big guns. 

Ben went in and offered to take all the water out of the toilet so there would be no splash.  This helped but did not in any way make her want to go.  I sat in the hallway crying because this was obviously mean and cruel but I reminded myself that I had never heard of anyone so traumatized by having to shit on the potty that they became mass murderers.

Ben started asking her about school.  About who was sick and who was the "leader" and all of a sudden I heard her stop crying and squeak out a little, "I think I did it."

And she did.  She was so proud of herself and so we had to act like crapping in the toilet was the most incredible thing we had ever witnessed.  We told her she was brave and so big now and she just beamed with pride!

And of course, yesterday we went to Target where I managed to spend $22 on a Barbie and some other crap toys just to keep the momentum going.

So to all of you who reassured me it was going to be okay and that my kid would eventually stop crapping her pants, I say THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT.

Now I have to figure out how to properly wipe a kid's ass when she is half standing up.


  1. Congratulations! One of my children was a nightmare to train--I had absolutely no good advice to offer you. I tried everything, it just happened when he was ready. I was crossing my fingers when we sent him to preschool at 4 that he was truly trained. He and his younger brother (by 2 years!) pretty much got the hang of it at the same age.

  2. Great! I did have to spend a lot of money in toys too! Thanks God we survived to that potty training hell!

  3. Wiping while standing up...not a good look for anyone. Am liking your choices on the 30DoB

  4. I suggest using those flushable wet wipes. I've had surgery where it was easier to wipe that way (on me! An adult!) and those things were a God send.

    Stopping by from LBS Tea Party

  5. Too funny...and yet another reason i am thankful for my furchildren over the human kind. My sister went thru this with my nephew..we were sure he'd be going into jr high still pooping his pants but alas he finally got the hang of it before kindergarden was over!
    Stopping from LBS tea party!

  6. We're not to the potty training stage yet, but I've been through it with my sister-in-law's kids. Her first was potty trained very easily in the beginning. My SIL would tell her the story of the three bears to distract her. She then required that story to go! She'd call you in and say, "I need you to tell me about the three bears." LOL
    She then reverted when her baby brother came along. After my SIL had changed enough poopy diapers and had tried everything she could think of, she resorted to some pretty drastic measures- making my niece take a nice big whiff of her poopy diaper! Gross, but it worked!
    So my point is, there is no pretty way to handle potty training. It's gross, frustrating, and exhausting. Glad something finally worked for you. Oh and that give me your poop pic still has me laughing!
    Stopped by from LBS.

  7. I couldn't help but laugh--our whole lives revolve around bodily functions of people other than ourselves! Nice, right? I found you from the LBS Tea Party. I'm now a follower!

  8. I'm battling my daughter with pooping on the pot as I type this. The last week has finally been free of shitty panties (I refuse to put her in a pull-up during the day anymore) and for that I'm an extremely happy mommy.

    As far as wiping, my son always assumes the position - bends over and grabs his ankles - and I use the flushable wipes. With my daughter, she doesn't like to hold her butt up in the air. One particularly disgusting day, she backed into me. There isn't enough bacterial soap in the world to make you feel clean again when you have another person's shit on you. So now, she simply stays on the toilet and bends forward while wrapping her arms around one of my legs. This way she feels secure about not falling over and my uncovered flesh is nowhere near her ass. Plus, there's no chance of her getting poop all over the toilet while getting down to be wiped. You may try that to see if it works for you.

    Flushable wipes are the way to go. You can get a 3 pack of them at Walmart for like $3.50 - $4.00.

  9. So cute. I have to been there! My daughter used to wait until I put her in her nighttime diaper and then go almost right away and then the next pull up would be dry. So, I too, refused to buy more. She is now 6 and not traumatized at all - but I might still be...


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