I want to start this by saying that I mean no offense to anyone who ACTUALLY sends out holiday newsletters. I am sure that yours are much more creative and delightful than the ones that I seem to get every year. But seriously. Most of these things only provoke eye-rolling and snickering in my house.
That being said, I thought it was imperative that I work on a Because Motherhood Sucks Holiday Newsletter right away. Here is the first draft:
Dear Friends, Relatives, and People I Only Know from Facebook:
It sure has been a (literally) CRAAAZY year here at Because Motherhood Sucks! First of all, I want to say a super-big MERRY CHRISTMAS! Since I am at the forefront of the war on the (completely real) War on Christmas, I want to make sure you know that I say have to say Merry CHRISTmas because I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was a Pagan or a Jew or (God forbid) a secret Muslim (I don't want to say that word too loud for fear that saying it will make me catch it, just like the gay).
|The war on Christmas is REAL!!!|
Once again it is that wonderful time of year where we take a moment in between decking the halls and going door to door caroling to look back at the last year and and
regret celebrate the spectacular failures joy that I have been subjecting you to lucky to share with you all, here at Because Motherhood Sucks.
Early in the year, Lila went through a rough patch and after I rescued her heroically from a bout of Scarlet Fever she was back to being the
psychotic devil spawn perfect and infallible child that makes my heart swell with joy (or whatever you call this) . Along with all the viral infections wonderful new knowledge she was bringing home from preschool, she also developed quite a natural talent for performing. I know that all mothers brag about their children but Lila has perfected the art of screaming learned how to sing like an injured cat ANGEL floating on a cloud and dipped in butter. She also apparently has a natural acting ability and flair for drama. In fact, I believe that she has given some truly Oscar-worthy performances in the last several months.
Besides being OBVIOUSLY talented, Lila has truly
worn down my will to live come a long way this year. In July she turned four, which means that she's a year closer to moving out on her own she's such a diva big girl and is becoming more and more obnoxious independent. She worked really hard to get me to put her up for sale overcome some major fears. She has started reading and I am positive that within the next year she will be working her way through Machiavelli and Camus. Between our awful FANTASTIC neighbors and all the unwilling new friends we made, I think Lila would agree that this year didn't suck so much after all. I sincerely loathe enjoy this time of year and can't wait to see Lila Christmas morning when she greedily tears into sees all those presents under the tree!
|"IIIIIIIIIIIII'M DREEEAMING of a |
Over here on MY side of the blog, I received plenty of
|If you don't remember this pic, |
click on the link above
So from Because Motherhood Sucks, here's to hoping
Selena @ Because Motherhood Sucks.
|Let's just pretend this is my family photo.|