Sunday, January 22, 2012

Plenty of liquor and a bathroom fetish.

This is part 3 of a 3-part Meme.  The first 2 parts were okay, but this last one is a little...ummm.....depressing.

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Ends

Cheers to all of us thieves!

36. Have you watched American Horror Story?
I don't need to.  I lived through the terrible twos...and threes, and one and a halfs.  Oh did I mention my kid didn't stop crying for the first 6 months of her life?

Lila - 6 days old.

37. Baseball hat or toque?
Fuck off.

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower?
Usually I just stand there and savor the fact that I am in the bathroom and alone.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
Can we get out of the bathroom now?

Seriously.  Get me the fuck out of this bathroom now!
40. Pen or pencil?
I enjoy using pens, but I think pencils are better for jamming into my eyes when Lila insists on watching Aladdin for the 4700th time.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
I am the unluckiest person alive.  Seriously.  I've gone, I've tried.  It has never ended well.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?
um...surprisingly, no.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?
No. but I have cleaned a kid's puke from all over a car.  Three different times.

44. Have you thrown up at work?
NO!  Does this asshole have a throw up fetish?

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?
I do not believe in roller coasters.

Yeah, this looks like a TON of fun.
And I chose it because of all the throw up questins.

46. How many shoes do you have?
7.  7 individual shoes.

47. Who was your first roommate?
Well, technically that would be my parents.  But after that, Ben and his crackhead friend Rick.

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?
Zima?  Cysco? MD 20/20?  Boon's Farm?  I have no idea but it was the early 90's so it was definitely one of those.

As 'Lil Jon would say:
YEEE-AAY-AH
The best part is that for some reason, I searched
Google and found this on Runnersworld.com (?)
49. What was your first job?
Chasing boys

50. What was your first car?
1989 Dodge Omni.  It had no heat and didn't have an oil change in the entire 3 years I owned it, but that bitch always started. 

51. When did you go to your first funeral?
Wow.  This sure is an uncomfortable mix of questions.  I was 7.

Well, if there's going to be kids there...

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
I got paroled at 24.  5 years later I was back.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs Cleary.  She had a cleft palate and was 107 years old.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
New York City.  On a tiny 12 seat commuter plane.  Terrifying.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Me and my friend (who we called Pippi) snuck out to hang out with these 2 boys, one of which died in a car accident like 6 months later.

This is my friend Christina, aka Pippi

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
First?  Jessica.  And isn't everyone still friends with everyone they ever knew on the Facebook?

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?
Danforth Street.  Or as we liked to call it - The Cathouse.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
No one.  I go hide on the interwebs and pretend I am someone else.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
I am going to be in my first one next month.  Awful.

Here we are trying our dresses on.
60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Take my happy pills and get some coffee.

61. What was the first concert you attended?
I used to go to punk rock and hardcore shows when I was like 12.  I have no idea who was first but probably some lame local band.

62. First tattoo or piercing?
No and no...you would think that with all the cheap liquor and punk shows...

63. First celebrity crush?
I was obsessed with Prince when I was like 5.  What girl wouldn't love a 3 foot tall mixed-race elf who wears high heels?

What little girl doesn't dream of this?

 One last thing.  In searching for random pics on the google (God, I hope SOPA and PIPA don't pass) I found this:

Can someone please tell me what the hell is
wrong with the Japanese? 

14 comments:

  1. Um, I loved the answers, but can't seem to get past the naked picture of prince. I had a crush on him as a young girl myself. Something about his entire body just looks a bit 'off'. His legs seemed to be shaved to me? WTF?

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  2. 107 years old - ha! I actually thought zima was what I first got drunk on but then remembered that it was jungle juice, and I was grateful for that cuz I thought, zima, how lame! Early 90's. Sigh.

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  3. Oh Zima, what ever happened to that. I think mine was Bartles and James Wine Coolers. Oh the 90's, how I don't miss you.

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  4. I love those bridesmaids' dresses! I want one!

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  5. This is all new to me. But I'm loving the Sunday Stealing.
    I hope they steal from you.

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  6. OMG! MY first car was a Dodge Omni 024! In fact, I believe I made fun of your car in it.

    Um, sorry.

    That your car SUCKED!!!! Ha! Seriously, good post, though.

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  7. Oh, never mind. I made fun of your car in a post I wrote for another blog. The one where I shit in the woods.

    http://handflapping.com/2011/08/everybody-does-poop-except-me-and-a-surprising-number-of-people-are-willing-to-talk-about-it/

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  8. New reader here...And this is funny shit....What the hell IS wrong with the Japanese? I wonder this....

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  9. The line What girl wouldn't love a 3 foot tall mixed-race elf who wears high heels?" made me spit my coffee out...too funny!!

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  10. Those bathrooms really look creepy and scary especially the sink with the lower half of the torso.

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  11. seriously, why is it that everyone who claims once being a punk rocker need to justify it by adding how young they were when they went to shows. Most mention 12 as their pr prime. What's up with that?

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