Saturday, September 24, 2011

Attack of the Killer Commercials!

Remember when I was all pissed off and irritated because of the Pillow Pets?

(If not go here and read about how the Pillow Pets Commercials temporarily ruined my life)

Well folks, I am here to tell you about a new evil that threatens to disrupt the fabric of life with small children as we know it.  No, I'm not talking about the overblown "arsenic in apple juice" debacle (which, by the way is stupid.  I learned in 7th grade that apple seeds have small amounts of arsenic in them which is why you aren't supposed to eat them).  I am talking about this crap seen below.  Stay in it for about 20 seconds.  The song will drive you to insanity.

Every time my kid sees this and hears the song, all I hear for the rest of the day is "I want the ladybug! She lives in a house! And you ring the doorbell!  And WOOOOOOW there's a UNICORN!  OH MY GOD I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS BECAUSE IT WAS ON TV AND EVERYTHING ON TV IS OBVIOUSLY AWESOME! Especially with such a catchy song!"

(The last couple of lines was my commercial induced insanity taking over)

Granted, my kid probably watches too much TV.  But what the hell else are kids supposed to do when they get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning and Mommy is still partially in a coma because she hasn't had her requisite 4 cups of coffee yet? 

For my kid, seeing this commercial is like a crack head being show commercials for crack.  SHE MUST HAVE IT. To her it's the most wonderful and urgent need in the world.  These things are the pinnacle of ecstasy and completely thrilling (I mean, look at how absolutely thrilled the kids in the commercial are). And it's all she can think about.  She will beg, borrow and steal (but mostly just whine) for the chance to have one. 

Seriously, this cutesy stuffed pet / pillow friend trend needs to be stopped.  Because before we know it, our preschoolers will form an army of commercial-jingle-induced zombies who threaten all out anarchy unless they get their nappy friends. 

Seriously, is this what we parents want?

This is not a future that I want to have to envision.


  1. They are evil aren't they? My NINE year old wants a pillow pet! Seriously? Don't you want to build things out of legos and blow them up?

  2. We have an old analog t.v. and so no reception. But we can watch movies/DVDs. The first time my son watched 'real' t.v. he was 4 and a half. He came up to me within minutes to insist I get him a Barbie Easy-Bake Oven. Yeah... marketing to kids is scary biz.

  3. Marketing to kids is frightening. They don't know what hit them. It's also frightening to parents because of the annoying songs and incessant whining it causes.

  4. When my daughter was 3 she ran upstairs to tell me about this amazing grass that you roll and it instantly becomes grass. She said it was the longest commerical she ever saw and that we can call now. (it was roll and grow)

  5. I LOVED your line about being partially in a coma from your caffeine-deficiency! :-) The rest of it was so funny, and sadly too true.

    Trish in AZ

  6. thats a good one!cause its true,kids want everything they see!luv ya.

  7. Oh Good God! They have found something more annoying and more gay (no offense to homosexuals) than the old imaginary dinosaur pal Barney to inflict ongoing mental trauma to parents everywhere. A lady once let my older kid watch Barney tape after a bath when he fell in her Koi pond and I was running home to retrieve dry clothes. He was 3 at the time and became so enamored by that purple monster that she gave him the tape. For 2 years I was subjected to that video 3 and 4 times in a row everyday. I finally got the tunes out of my end once he decided to move on.... then I heard it over the phone and wanted to impale my eye on the corner of a cubicle. Glad I dont have tv, or this may have set me beyond the want to die a slow horrible death, but to actually go thru with it.

  8. I am a victim of this commercial too. I hate it with a passion! My kids have managed to manipulate these damn pillow pets out of me and their grandparents:

    My daughter has 2 pillow pets (full size) and one mini pillow pet.

    My son has 1 pillow pet, 1 happy napper (the dragon and that damn ringing door bell!) and one mini pillow pet.

    Of course my daughter just NEEDS the Happy Napper because "Mommy, they make all my dreams come true!"

    You know what makes dreams come true, darling? Money. And I won't have anymore if I keep having to buy you crap you see on television!

    I'm not bitter at all about this subject! ;)


I love comments. What did you think?