Saturday, October 22, 2011

They need to knock this shit off...Seriously.

There is a really good reason that I try to only let my kid watch PBS cartoons.  But every now and then, a different channel gets put on and the commercials make me want to stab my eyes out. 

First it was the Pillow Pets, whose annoying and hypnotizing commercials turned my kid into a total animal.  You can read that post here.

Then about a month ago, evil had a new name and it was the Happy Napper. 

Well, thanks to Grandma, Lila got her stupid ladybug Happy Napper and can't actually nap on it because a) she has not napped since she was 2, and b) because when you stuff the ladybug into her little house the resulting pillow is lumpy and hard as a rock. 

This morning SOMEONE (Daddy) put on some cartoons for Lila and as soon as the Doodlebops (which are their own form of torture for me) was over, I looked up from my crap-induced stupor and realized Lila basically floating mesmerized toward the television. 

There is a new horror in town:

Now, if I am honest, these things are kind of cute.  The puppy (shown above) has ears that move up and down when you step in the slippers. And the unicorn appears to go to sleep when you aren't wearing them. 

As far as I can tell, they don't make any noise, although I have not researched them thouroughly enough to tell for sure, and so I am not totally and completely opposed to these (although if there is even the mildest snort, giggle or music that comes out of them I will change my tune).  But the commercial will make you want to vomit.  And after seeing it LITERALLY one time, Lila has been singing it all morning. 

The commercial told Lila that "Stompeez are more than just slippers...they're slippers with PERSONALITY!...They'll make you LAUGH!  They'll make you SMILE!"  all the while in the background the kids are screaming "WE WANT THEM!!!"

Luckily for you, I cannot find a link to the video, but if you go to the actual Stompeez website, you will see what we're dealing with here. 

Mind-numbing website complete with song.

When the commercial was over, Lila suddenly became re-animated as if a hypnotist just snapped his fingers and looked at me dead in the face and said, "Mommy, they're not just slippers.  THEY'RE STOMPEEZ!  AND I NEED TO HAVE THEM."

It is no use trying to explain to a 4 year old that she NEEDS food, water and shelter and that she simply WANTS the ridiculous slippers because it will just re-inforce how much she NEEDS them and she will probably end up convincing me otherwise.

I am going to try to explain to my mother that she IS NOT to buy them for her under any circumstances and that if she is lucky, she MAY get them for Christmas but I know it will be no use.  Grandmas can always be depended on to buy more of the useless crap that kids seem to love.


  1. Ugh, what is with kids in that they do this to us? I seriously do not remember pulling this crap on my parents, I may hv been too busy fending for my life from my elest brother at the time but come on. My daughter (btw, what is DD, DH etc...?) disregards that i am her mother and recently has been embarrassing me in public by plain ole ignoring me flat out. Over anuthing ive been telling her lately. Which as of lately is the one thing that WILL throw me into complete inside angst and mild rage. Its kinda a new thing and im caught in the middle of WTH do I do?! My son has been hitying me when he doesnt get his way which is like, every 5minutes (hes two) and now I find myself in loys of stress and afraid of going outside the house...oh wait, im sorry! This is your blog! Motherhood is sucking for me, too, these days... >:(

  2. When my kids were young, I told them that there were 3 things that I was required by law to give them: food, shelter, and clothes, everything else was a perk. So when they would get into the "I have to have 'such and such' ", they would hear my requirements speech. They have remembered this into their adult lives as parents and use it on their children.

    Now, as a Grandma myself, I don't mind spoiling the little ankle biters, but with little things, not the "I have to have" crap. Those special things are saved for Christmas, if they still want them.

    Start you speech now, because before you know it, it will be the BIG "have to have" crap like cell phones and cars...

  3. Bartmess, don't ever feel like you can't vent here. It sucks for all of us. An thanks for terrifying me as to what I have to look forward to.

    And Sandy, if Lila had a Grandma like you, who understands the concept of restraint, I wouldn't have half the problems I have!


  4. LOL!!! THis same scene (with different toys) plays out in my home daily. And it's even worse this time of year. We call it the greedy gimmies..but my spawn know that if they bat their greedy little eyelashes at easy-to-sway Grandma that they will get what it is they "need to have". Ugh...who needs the timeout here...kiddo or Grandma???

  5. Sir One-Eyed Monster?

    Someone is marketing is having a good chuckle over getting that one through.


I love comments. What did you think?