Monday, October 18, 2010

Is your mother an asshole too?

Sometimes my mother really pisses me off.

The kid is going through what I think is a VERY normal part of being 3.  She insists on wearing ridiculous items of clothing all the time.  She got a pair of hot pink rain boots and wore those for 3 days before finding a (too big) Strawberry Shortcake winter knitted hat at a second hand store.  She insists on wearing both whether it's warm, cold, raining, sunny or appropriate for the situation.  Did I mention that she also needs to carry her umbrella most of the time?  And I really don't care.  Most people know that kids go through this phase of wearing weird shit.

Today I brought her over to my mothers (as that is where she stays while I work at my tremendously thrilling library job) and my mother gave her this pathetic look when we walked up to the door.  "Doesn't she look BEAUTIFUL???" I said winking and subliminally urging Grandma to play along.

"No." says my mother.  "She does not.  She looks like you can't afford to dress her."  So, being as quick-witted as I am, I reply "She wouldn't even HAVE rain boots if I couldn't afford them.  She'd still be in flip flops in October."  My mother wearily shook her head. "How can I take her to Wal-Mart today dressed like that?" (Insert truly annoyed comment regarding the irony here).

My kid can wear whatever the hell she wants.  What the hell is this judgement thing from my own mother and why do I even care?  I haven't felt so pissed at any one's comments on my mothering since the "baby competition" we all used to have at Gymboree when the kid was less than a year old (You all know the competition I'm talking about..."My Dalton started walking at 4 months."..."Yeah well my Annabel said Mama in Japanese last week."..."Yeah, well Lila punched your kids in the face and told them she is the boss of them just a second ago because my kid isn't taking shit from anyone.").

God, I hate the constant self-doubt.  Does it ever end?

1 comment:

  1. I totally get it. I do. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to the grocery store accompanied by a tiny tot in a tinkerbell tutu (say that 10 times really fast). A tinkerbell tutu, bare legs, 1/2 an ass cheek hanging out, with a tiara and rain boots. There was a time when my kids' bedroom (all 3 share a room) was so atrocious that for like 2 months, the only shoes that Ava could find were *one* of her pairs of rubber rain boots. (She had 3 pairs). So that's what she wore-- because I refused to take her out to buy new shoes simply because they (I?) refused to clean their room. I figure, I have enough (more significant and worthy) things to fight with my kids about that I just honestly don't give two half shits about what they're wearing. Even to school. As long as it's clean, it fits, and is weather appropriate, they can wear what they want. Choose your battles!

    My mom has a big issue with secondhand stores-- the "stigma" of it all. We were pretty poor growing up, so maybe that's the sore spot. Now, Robert and I are doing pretty well for our kids-- we don't have to struggle. But I really like secondhand stores-- they're not corporate, they're recycling, they're not pretentious, and lets face it-- there's some pretty fucking awesome shit in there. If I wasn't a triple wide heifer, I'd be so awesomely dressed, I can't even tell you.

    Anyway, my mom likes Walmart too.



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