I am feeling kind of blah today so I am posting a Ten on Tuesday instead of a Mommy blog.
Questions from Roots and Rings where I will also be linking up!
1. From your childhood, what do you miss most about summer vacation?
Um...Having one? Unless you're a teacher you don't generally get 3 months off in the middle of the summer. I also miss fighting with the neighborhood kids about who rode their bike the fastest and staying outside ALL DAY LONG.
2. Are you going anywhere on vacation this summer?
Possibly to Lake George. Nowhere far or full of excitement. It's just too expensive right now to do anything. And Lila is JUST NOW getting to an age where she is sleeping like a normal person so we think it may be safe to intrude on my relatives for a long weekend.
3. What foods do you like to barbecue?
Meat. I love meat. I like to make kabobs with meat and veggies. However. I am terrified of the grill for some stupid reason so I make Ben do all the grilling.
4. How do you celebrate the fourth of July?
We try to go to the beach and see some fireworks. Pretty standard stuff. HOWEVER, the real excitement happens when we come home...We live in a city. And for some reason, my neighbors always think it's perfectly appropriate to come home after drinking all day and set off their own fireworks in the middle of the night. I cross my fingers and hope someone takes off a finger so they will knock it off but no one ever does.
5. What’s your favorite beverage to drink in the summertime?
My bevarage of choice year round is coffee. But my NEW summertime beverage is Pink Lemonade spiked with Cherry Vodka. I am sure there's a name for it but I call it Selena's Cherry Fantastic. I am going to have to go have one now. It's 5pm somewhere, right?
6. What movie are you looking forward to seeing this summer?
Eh.
7. In the car: windows down or AC?
AC. I lived in Arizona for 5 years and that spoiled me to the AC forever. I LOVE not having hot air blowing in my eyes for some reason.
8. Have you ever had a summer fling?
Hahahahahahaahaha! I plead the fifth.
9. Do you wear sunscreen?
I don't usually. Because I am stubborn and because I don't spend a ton of time in the sun. I like to get A LITTLE color when I do.
10. Do you have any favorite summertime activities?
Napping on hot days nude with the fan going. Does that count as a hobby?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Ba-Ba Blues?
What the hell is it with the older women and their total refusal to allow modern moms to do what we think is best for our kids?
Yesterday I was at a family barbeque (and I won't even get into the thrilling experience that I had) and was talking to my aunt, whose first grandchild has just turned one. She and her son were discussing the bottle and the aunt was APPALLED at the idea that he would even THINK of taking the bottle away from her at a mere 1 year old. She defended her stance saying that the pediatrician said "15 months at the latest for a bottle, 18 months for a pacifier." She acted like it was flat-out child abuse to even consider depriving a kid of a ba-ba so "young".
This is not the first time I have encountered this kind of outrage from an older woman in my family. My mother completely lost her shit when I suggested that Lila was not supposed to have a bottle to go to sleep since that is what parents had done for 50 years previous. She told me that this was basically the cause of all the problems I had with Lila's infancy and that if I just gave in all those problems would disappear.
I finally DID give in. And guess what, a year later when Lila was 2 and still wanting a bottle to go to sleep my mother acted like I was talking about murder when I suggested that it was time to stop. Even though the doctor had told me to do it a year before. Even though every parenting book ON EARTH says that they shouldn't have a bottle to go to sleep, my mother thought it was simply cruel.
Believe me when I say that it was one of the worst transitions I have ever had to make. Lila was never a good sleeper to begin with and this just made her worse.
All that being said, why do these women think that we modern mothers are so mean and cruel for trying to do exactly what all the pros tell us we need to do? Are they offended that their way may have been wrong? Or is it actually mean to take a comfort item from a baby? Are we no good at going with our guts or is it just a matter of them trying to keep the babies as babies for as long as possible?
What do you guys think?
Yesterday I was at a family barbeque (and I won't even get into the thrilling experience that I had) and was talking to my aunt, whose first grandchild has just turned one. She and her son were discussing the bottle and the aunt was APPALLED at the idea that he would even THINK of taking the bottle away from her at a mere 1 year old. She defended her stance saying that the pediatrician said "15 months at the latest for a bottle, 18 months for a pacifier." She acted like it was flat-out child abuse to even consider depriving a kid of a ba-ba so "young".
 |
| "Once you pop you can't stop," says Grandma. |
This is not the first time I have encountered this kind of outrage from an older woman in my family. My mother completely lost her shit when I suggested that Lila was not supposed to have a bottle to go to sleep since that is what parents had done for 50 years previous. She told me that this was basically the cause of all the problems I had with Lila's infancy and that if I just gave in all those problems would disappear.
I finally DID give in. And guess what, a year later when Lila was 2 and still wanting a bottle to go to sleep my mother acted like I was talking about murder when I suggested that it was time to stop. Even though the doctor had told me to do it a year before. Even though every parenting book ON EARTH says that they shouldn't have a bottle to go to sleep, my mother thought it was simply cruel.
Believe me when I say that it was one of the worst transitions I have ever had to make. Lila was never a good sleeper to begin with and this just made her worse.
All that being said, why do these women think that we modern mothers are so mean and cruel for trying to do exactly what all the pros tell us we need to do? Are they offended that their way may have been wrong? Or is it actually mean to take a comfort item from a baby? Are we no good at going with our guts or is it just a matter of them trying to keep the babies as babies for as long as possible?
What do you guys think?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Yes...It DOES.
I have a problem of feeling very alone sometimes, surrounded by women who LOVE being moms. So every now and then I google "motherhood sucks". I am rarely disappointed. Today I found this blog and wanted to share it with you.
The worst mother
You all know I disagree totally with this whole thing. NO! There's NOTHING wrong with you! IT FUCKING SUCKS 90% of the time.
I love this:
Luckily she does come to a new and better conclusion:
Seriously. Go check her out. Mention you found her through me and I will be forever thankful.
CLICK HERE
or go to:
http://theworstmother.wordpress.com/
-Selena
The worst mother
Motherhood Sucks. And then you DON’T die.
By the WORST mother
Yeah, you heard me.
MOTHERHOOD SUCKS!
With a capital M-O-T-H-E-R-H-O-O-D-S-U-C-K-S
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why are moms so afraid to admit this? Oh, that’s right, I know….
BECAUSE REAL MOMS LOVE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF BEING A MOTHER.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
WAKING.
MOMENT.
So, does that mean there is something wrong with ME?
You all know I disagree totally with this whole thing. NO! There's NOTHING wrong with you! IT FUCKING SUCKS 90% of the time.
I love this:
Luckily she does come to a new and better conclusion:
Seriously. Go check her out. Mention you found her through me and I will be forever thankful.
CLICK HERE
or go to:
http://theworstmother.wordpress.com/
-Selena
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Mother's Daughter?
I know you are going to be shocked to hear this, but I really didn't turn out so great.
I dropped out of high school even though I was taking college-level classes simply because I refused to participate in gym class. I hated high school so much that I never bothered to apply to college. When I did go, I went to community college and only took classes I was interested in rather than actually attempting to follow some kind of curriculum. I dropped out of college too when I realized someone was going to have to pay for all those classes I enjoyed so much and then managed to throw my student loan into default during what can only be described as "one of my insane periods". This has ruined my chances of going back to school to get a degree so that I can make real money to actually pay back the loan so that I can go back to school to make real money...you get the idea.
And I blame the entire spiral on one person..MY MOTHER.
Yes, yes...I know. I am an adult and was when I went to college so how can I blame my mother for decisions I've made since that magical age when I should have been living alone and being responsible for myself?
Well, simple. Her parenting sucked.
And I am reminded of it every time I show up to pick up my kid and she is having a Hershey Bar at 5:00 pm (perfect for an appetizer I suppose) or when she demands that she IS NOT putting her shoes/coat/clothes on to leave because she doesn't have to do what my mother says. I am reminded when Lila comes home and tells me she played with the hose all day in March "because Grandma doesn't like it when I cry". I am reminded of it when I try to explain the concept of "time out" to my mother and she tells me it isn't nice to let Lila cry like that, even for a few minutes and that it "hurts Lila's feelings" when I yell at her.
My mother is a woman of no boundaries and fewer limits. It was her lack of limits that allowed me to have a 17 year old abusive boyfriend when I was 13 and allowed me to skip school and sleep in because everyone knew I could pass the test. It was her lack of limits which was the forerunner of my inability to delay gratification for ANYTHING until I was about 25 years old. And by then it was too late.
She never pushed me to do anything I didn't want to do, assuming that I was a strong kid and I would figure it out and she criticizes the way I refuse to allow Lila to do insane things (like take everything out of the refrigerator to keep her busy for 2 and a half minutes) even though it would "make Lila SOOO happy."
I parent NOTHING like my mother. I set rules and limits. Lila cannot stand up on the dining room table. She cannot act like an animal in Wal-Mart. She will not get Pepsi no matter how much she cries for it and I don't care if she wants a toy. I said no.
I am hoping that with a little guidance and direction, I will succeed where my mother failed me. I want Lila to find a life that suits her but also that is not full of missed opportunities and hurts that were totally unavoidable.
Oh, and I hope to spare her the 10 + years worth of therapy I have accumulated throughout the years.
Inspired by one of Mama Kat's weekly writing prompts:
Not your mother's daughter...how do you parent differently than your mother did? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
I dropped out of high school even though I was taking college-level classes simply because I refused to participate in gym class. I hated high school so much that I never bothered to apply to college. When I did go, I went to community college and only took classes I was interested in rather than actually attempting to follow some kind of curriculum. I dropped out of college too when I realized someone was going to have to pay for all those classes I enjoyed so much and then managed to throw my student loan into default during what can only be described as "one of my insane periods". This has ruined my chances of going back to school to get a degree so that I can make real money to actually pay back the loan so that I can go back to school to make real money...you get the idea.
And I blame the entire spiral on one person..MY MOTHER.
 |
| My life after about 10th grade. (Image thanks to wired.com) |
Yes, yes...I know. I am an adult and was when I went to college so how can I blame my mother for decisions I've made since that magical age when I should have been living alone and being responsible for myself?
Well, simple. Her parenting sucked.
And I am reminded of it every time I show up to pick up my kid and she is having a Hershey Bar at 5:00 pm (perfect for an appetizer I suppose) or when she demands that she IS NOT putting her shoes/coat/clothes on to leave because she doesn't have to do what my mother says. I am reminded when Lila comes home and tells me she played with the hose all day in March "because Grandma doesn't like it when I cry". I am reminded of it when I try to explain the concept of "time out" to my mother and she tells me it isn't nice to let Lila cry like that, even for a few minutes and that it "hurts Lila's feelings" when I yell at her.
My mother is a woman of no boundaries and fewer limits. It was her lack of limits that allowed me to have a 17 year old abusive boyfriend when I was 13 and allowed me to skip school and sleep in because everyone knew I could pass the test. It was her lack of limits which was the forerunner of my inability to delay gratification for ANYTHING until I was about 25 years old. And by then it was too late.
She never pushed me to do anything I didn't want to do, assuming that I was a strong kid and I would figure it out and she criticizes the way I refuse to allow Lila to do insane things (like take everything out of the refrigerator to keep her busy for 2 and a half minutes) even though it would "make Lila SOOO happy."
I parent NOTHING like my mother. I set rules and limits. Lila cannot stand up on the dining room table. She cannot act like an animal in Wal-Mart. She will not get Pepsi no matter how much she cries for it and I don't care if she wants a toy. I said no.
I am hoping that with a little guidance and direction, I will succeed where my mother failed me. I want Lila to find a life that suits her but also that is not full of missed opportunities and hurts that were totally unavoidable.
Oh, and I hope to spare her the 10 + years worth of therapy I have accumulated throughout the years.
Inspired by one of Mama Kat's weekly writing prompts:
Not your mother's daughter...how do you parent differently than your mother did? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ancient History: 5 B.C.
I was sitting in a McDonald's with Lila the other day and overheard a woman talking about the good old days. Back in B.C. Before Children.
Let's take a little stroll through history, shall we?
5 years B.C. I could wake up on Sunday morning and have the whole day in front of me. The house would be quiet and the newspaper would be waiting for me. I would leisurely drink my coffee and peruse the paper and carefully weigh all the possibilities for the day ahead. Those days are gone.
In 5 B.C. I could get a phone call at 7pm on a Friday and be out the door in half an hour for a night on the town where I dressed sexy and got hit on all night by various attractive men offering to buy me drinks in the hopes that I would go home with them. That's over too.
In 5 B.C. if I was sick, I stayed in bed all day. Sometimes a friend or even my mom would come over to take care of me. I could watch movies or read or just sleep. Not so much anymore.
In 5 B.C. I worked to buy myself nice clothes, shoes, a car, and to support my habit of buying more books than I could read. I worked so that I could go out and eat with friends or offer to pay on dates. I always had money left over after paying my bills even though it was just me and no roommates. So much for that.
In 5 B.C. I lived alone. The only mess to clean up was mine (and MiMi, my cat's). I hardly cooked because it's no fun to cook for yourself and so I ate a lot more fast food, and yet never managed to gain any weight.
In 5 B.C. I had perfect boobs, a flat stomach and minimal cellulite. I showed off my body and if I chose to I could even sleep around if the mood struck me. Just because I was a hot young thing. I'm not anymore.
Let's take a little stroll through history, shall we?
 |
| All that's left of my life Before Children |
In 5 B.C. I could get a phone call at 7pm on a Friday and be out the door in half an hour for a night on the town where I dressed sexy and got hit on all night by various attractive men offering to buy me drinks in the hopes that I would go home with them. That's over too.
 |
| That's me on the left in blue at a rave in 2001 |
In 5 B.C. I worked to buy myself nice clothes, shoes, a car, and to support my habit of buying more books than I could read. I worked so that I could go out and eat with friends or offer to pay on dates. I always had money left over after paying my bills even though it was just me and no roommates. So much for that.
 |
| Me in my slutty clothes |
In 5 B.C. I had perfect boobs, a flat stomach and minimal cellulite. I showed off my body and if I chose to I could even sleep around if the mood struck me. Just because I was a hot young thing. I'm not anymore.
 |
| Me at dawn. I was 22 here. |
Today, Sunday mornings are loud and my day is left in her hands. It's impossible to have spontaneous plans pop up because I don't have a spur-of-the-moment babysitter and even if I did, I am so exhausted by the end of the day that I rarely stay up past 9pm. If I'm sick, too bad. Mom's don't get to call in sick. I work to buy my kid nice things. So that she can leave them all over the house for me to clean up. Today my boobs are heading south, my ass is expanding to unclaimed frontiers and there is a roundness to me that I can barely identify. It isn't pretty or sexy and I cannot remember the last time I thought about sex.
It's not that there aren't good points, Lila is the joy of my life in so many ways. But seriously, when you put it on paper it really makes me yearn for the good old ancient days of B.C.
(All photos were the result of a Bing Search and thumbnails. But the captions are mine)
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