Sick Kid, Broken Mirrors and Sparkles

Lila is sick again.  Last night we ended up taking her to Urgent Care because she had a fever of 103.5 that wouldn't go down with Tylenol.  Turns out she has Strep Throat.  And because I love my kid (don't tell anyone) and wanted to make sure she got her Motrin and antibiotics every 6 hours, I brought her to bed with me. 

There is a very simple reason why I NEVER let Lila sleep in bed with me.  Because although I LOVE the idea of her cuddled up next to me with her little head nestled in the crook of my arm, in reality she wakes me up every time she moves, talks in her sleep and physically assaults me throughout the night.  She literally slapped me in the face THREE TIMES.  IN THE FACE! 

So I am waiting for her to wake up and get the hell out of bed so that her father can watch her all day and I can go BACK to bed and get some sleep.  Which is a shame because it's damn near 70 degrees outside already and it's only 10 am. 

So to amuse you this morning, here is the Sunday Stealing you have all been waiting for.


Sunday Stealing: The Her Head Is Part Missing Meme

1. What is your most annoying habit?

Going online to check my bank balance (or some other really quick little thing) and coming away 4 hours later not knowing what the hell happened.

2. What habit would you change of your partner's?

(I added the apostrophe and it made MUCH more sense...)  All of them?

3. Horrors or Chick Flicks?

Porn?

4. What is the most outrageous thing you have done in the back row of the movies?

Fell asleep.  I saved all my outrageousness for basements and back seats.

5. When have you lied to get a job?

Never.  The Jedi mind trick has never failed me.

 

As you can imagine, that line works like a charm.

6. What one thing is on your list to do before you hit 30, 40, 50 or whatever significant birthday is next?

Convince everyone that I am their savior.  Then sit back and laugh as they formulate a world-dominating religion around me.

7. Classic or modern films and why?

Both because I am not a pretentious "film" asshole. 

8. If you were a vampire who would be the first person you would bite?

Myself if I sparkled. And I would spend the rest of eternity apologizing for being one of the douchy Twilight vampires.

 

 

I couldn't pick which one I liked better.

9. If you had the power to make one thing better, what would it be?

My poor sick kid.

10. What makes a great blog?

Honesty.  And pictures stolen from the Internet with witty captions.  Especially if someone is offended.

(This is what REALLY makes a great blog)

11. What was the inspiration that brought your blog to the blogosphere?

All you need to know is the name of my blog.  No one wanted to admit it and I was like "yeah, well it fucking sucks.  So there."

12. What easily ticks you off (puts you in a bad mood quickly)?

Stupidity, people who can't spit out what they're trying to say, people who ask me what the hell I'm talking about.

13. How many children do you have?

One.  And seriously.  That's more than enough.

 

It's only a matter of time...

 

14. Is there anything you have ever regretted writing on your blog?

No.  Except for some of these answers.

15. What’s your favorite blog post you have written this year so far?

It's been a pretty rough year for writer's block.  I haven't written much.  Maybe this one. Or this one about the non-genderized kid.  Notice they're both angry rants...

16. Do you ever enter other bloggers competitions, and have you ever been lucky?

I don't because I am literally the unluckiest person alive.  Want to hit the lottery?  Ask me to pick 45 numbers and play the ones I don't pick.  Seriously. 

This is how I start my day.

17. If you could be anyone else for the day, who would you choose and why?

Lila.  That kid lives in the lap of luxury.

18. If you could time travel to any period of history what era would you visit?

25 A.D.  I want to see what Jesus was really all about.     

19. If you had to be genetically modified, would you rather have a third arm, a third leg, a second head or some other modification???

I would want a third penis. 

20. Which Disney character can you most relate to?

Any of these guys:

Jersey Shore and Vice Presidents

Sunday Stealing: The Scottish Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Where are you from and where do you live now?
I am from one of the snowiest places in the country and somehow I am still here.

2. Favorite childhood story/book/film?
Story: The one that my parents told me trying to convince me I was normal; Book: The Story of Ferdinand; Movie: Purple Rain (I was a strange kid)

I really thought I would be Apollonia when I grew up.

3. If you could change gender for a day what would you do?
Sit home all day and watch Internet porn and masturbate?  Isn't that what guys do?

4. Do you feel you family is complete or would you like more/some children?
I believe I have been VERY clear on this.  I am done.

5. What do you do/Where do you work and do you enjoy it?
I work in the library as the in-house sexy library chick.  It's on my resume.

6. Which three words do you think sum you up?
Need More Coffee

7. If you were a fairy what magical powers would you possess?
I would stand on the shoulders of douche bags and convince them that they were crazy and that they were hearing God.  Not really a magical power, but it sounds like a worthy calling.

8. If you were invisible, where would you go and what would you do? Why?
See above.

9. What song can’t you listen to without crying?
2 Live Crew's Me So Horny

10. Which book changed your life – or at least made you think a lot?
The Catechism I had in 2nd grade.  It was around this time that I started to wonder why the hell Catholicism was so terrifying and began to think there might be something wrong with the "God" I had been taught about. 

11. Why do you blog?
Read my blog title.  In fact, I named it in response to this VERY question.

12. What is your top ‘me-time’ tip?
Don't spend it doing anything useful.  I recommend napping.

13. What can’t you live without?
Xanax, coffee, food, shelter, water, etc.

14. Which of all your blog posts are you most proud of and why?
I am proudest of my posts about my postpartum depression.  Because I feel other women need to know that they aren't alone in feeling like they hate their babies and that it doesn't mean they're terrible mothers.

15. Have you ever met a famous person? Who and where?
Yes.  I was a groupie. 

16. When did you last have a full nights sleep?
Last night.  I am so glad my doctor prescribed me Trazadone.

17. What would you think is harder: Going to work or staying at home with children?
Spending a few days alone all day with Lila always cures my desire to stay at home all day with her.

18. What are you doing for Easter?
Sacrificing virgins?

19. What is your favorite drink?
Coffee.  Oh! You mean alcoholic:
(From Smokin' Bones) Skinny Redheaded Hottie
"Looks good. Goes down great. Three Olives Cherry Vodka, lite sour mix, cranberry juice and a splash of Sprite®. Served on the rocks with a cherry on top."
20. Do you play any sports?
If napping was a competition, I would.

That might be hard to beat...

21. What is your most embarrassing moment?
This is actually pretty hard...I don't get embarrassed easily.  In case you haven't noticed, I am pretty shameless.

22. How clever are you?
Pretty clever.

23. Name a new favorite TV show?
The River.  Some episodes are corny, but some are completely terrifying and I love that!

24. Any guilty pleasures?
Jersey Shore.  But I hate to admit it. 

It brings out the cougar in me.

25. If you could have chosen your own name, what would it be?
Probably something like Amanda or Brittney.  I wanted nothing more than a "regular" name when I was little (in the early 80s).  But I love my name now.

26. Who do you most admire in life, and why?
I admire anyone who is known for not bullshitting. Stephen Colbert and Joe Biden come to mind.

It's not real but doesn't it seem completely plausible?

27. What is your most treasured possession?
It used to be the awful scrapbook I made when I was 12, but now it's Lila.

28. Tell your favorite funny joke…
Knock knock.
Go the fuck away!

29. What is your biggest fear in life?
That I am not really destined for world domination?

30. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? What does it remind you of?
Chocolate with Peanut Butter.  It reminds me of what a fat ass I am.

Plenty of liquor and a bathroom fetish.

This is part 3 of a 3-part Meme.  The first 2 parts were okay, but this last one is a little...ummm.....depressing.

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Ends

Cheers to all of us thieves!

36. Have you watched American Horror Story?
I don't need to.  I lived through the terrible twos...and threes, and one and a halfs.  Oh did I mention my kid didn't stop crying for the first 6 months of her life?

Lila - 6 days old.

37. Baseball hat or toque?
Fuck off.

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower?
Usually I just stand there and savor the fact that I am in the bathroom and alone.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
Can we get out of the bathroom now?

Seriously.  Get me the fuck out of this bathroom now!

40. Pen or pencil?
I enjoy using pens, but I think pencils are better for jamming into my eyes when Lila insists on watching Aladdin for the 4700th time.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
I am the unluckiest person alive.  Seriously.  I've gone, I've tried.  It has never ended well.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?
um...surprisingly, no.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?
No. but I have cleaned a kid's puke from all over a car.  Three different times.

44. Have you thrown up at work?
NO!  Does this asshole have a throw up fetish?

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?
I do not believe in roller coasters.

Yeah, this looks like a TON of fun.
And I chose it because of all the throw up questins.

46. How many shoes do you have?
7.  7 individual shoes.

47. Who was your first roommate?
Well, technically that would be my parents.  But after that, Ben and his crackhead friend Rick.

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?
Zima?  Cysco? MD 20/20?  Boon's Farm?  I have no idea but it was the early 90's so it was definitely one of those.

As 'Lil Jon would say:
YEEE-AAY-AH
The best part is that for some reason, I searched
Google and found this on Runnersworld.com (?)

49. What was your first job?
Chasing boys

50. What was your first car?
1989 Dodge Omni.  It had no heat and didn't have an oil change in the entire 3 years I owned it, but that bitch always started. 

51. When did you go to your first funeral?
Wow.  This sure is an uncomfortable mix of questions.  I was 7.

Well, if there's going to be kids there...

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
I got paroled at 24.  5 years later I was back.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs Cleary.  She had a cleft palate and was 107 years old.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
New York City.  On a tiny 12 seat commuter plane.  Terrifying.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Me and my friend (who we called Pippi) snuck out to hang out with these 2 boys, one of which died in a car accident like 6 months later.

This is my friend Christina, aka Pippi

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
First?  Jessica.  And isn't everyone still friends with everyone they ever knew on the Facebook?

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?
Danforth Street.  Or as we liked to call it - The Cathouse.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
No one.  I go hide on the interwebs and pretend I am someone else.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
I am going to be in my first one next month.  Awful.

Here we are trying our dresses on.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Take my happy pills and get some coffee.

61. What was the first concert you attended?
I used to go to punk rock and hardcore shows when I was like 12.  I have no idea who was first but probably some lame local band.

62. First tattoo or piercing?
No and no...you would think that with all the cheap liquor and punk shows...

63. First celebrity crush?
I was obsessed with Prince when I was like 5.  What girl wouldn't love a 3 foot tall mixed-race elf who wears high heels?

What little girl doesn't dream of this?

 One last thing.  In searching for random pics on the google (God, I hope SOPA and PIPA don't pass) I found this:

Can someone please tell me what the hell is
wrong with the Japanese? 

Two parts Sunday Stealing, one part Other Shit.

First, let me say that I love my blog time.  For me it is unwind time, and when I have had a rough day, sometimes it's just what I need.

About 2 hours ago, I was upstairs putting away laundry and Ben was vacuuming.  Suddenly I hear this awful "frhhoooonnnnk" sound followed immediately by a crash and Ben yelling OH NO!  Lila starts screaming and I sprint downstairs to find Ben holding her and Lila holding her head.  It seems that Lila was looking for something under the couch AT THE SAME TIME that Ben was vacuuming under the couch (!!!!???!!!!).  Her hair got caught in the vacuum (as any sane and remotely sensible parent would assume would happen if a girls head gets close to the vacuum cleaner)and she was completely traumatized (as would be expected from a 4 year old that pretty much hates the vacuum because it attempted to eat her head).   Needless to say, I didn't have to demand that he apologize for that one.  Why is safety never a consideration for some fathers?

Ours is not nearly as friendly as the Noo Noo.

Aaaanywhooo....Everyone is alright but there was a HUGE chunk of hair pulled out and it was all tangled into her hair and she screamed while I tried to untangle it because she was afraid she was going to be bald. 

Subsequently, the meatloaf Ben was cooking spilled in the oven and the smoke detectors went off for like 15 minutes (because there's literally one in every single room of our small (small) house, they're all wired to go off at the same time, and they're electrical and you can't just pull a battery out of one and be done with it).  Lila screamed all through that as well.  And since it's like 4 degrees outside, we couldn't just step out on the porch to avoid it all. 

And before you all point out the obvious, yes, I realize that he vacuumed AND cooked on the same day.  But seriously?  You let your kid and the vacuum get that close?  Jesus.

FUN FUN!!

Moving on...I skipped last week's Sunday Stealing and since this was a two parter, you get double the fun.  Plus I know you just LOOOOVE hearing my stupid answers. 
Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Part One

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Song that always makes you sad?
Anything by Justin Bieber.  It isn't sadness, exactly...more of a murderous rage that makes me feel like I need to kill small animals...

2. Last thing you bought?
Prescription sedatives.  Ahhhh....sweet relief.

3. Last person you argued with?
There are only 2 possibilities.  Ben or Lila.  And Lila had a rough day.  So you do the math.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on?
WHAT???  I am not into food mixing like that.  Everyone knows that there is only one thing you are allowed to spread on bread with peanut butter.  Chocolate sauce.

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?
Like I remember that shit.  (actually I had a monkey that my mom tells me was called Mahnu, because I couldn't say monkey.  And that I used to refer to any older man with a beard as Mahnu too.) 

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD?
Do I look like an asshole?  Actually they are from these parts and I think it's hilarious that they have a children's cd out. 

7. Favorite day of the week?
Tuesday.  I have the day off work, and Lila goes to the sitter.

8. Favorite sundae topping?
Peanut Butter and Hot Fudge.  Together. 

9. Did you take piano lessons?
I wanted to but since my mother was insane, that never happened.  Instead I learned to play terrible 80s ballads on my Casio keyboard.

Go on, act like you didn't have one...

10. Most frequent song played?
Since I am not going to go look at itunes to figure this out, I will take a wild guess and say "Rump Shaker" by Wrecks N Effect (ahhhhh Snap!)

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
Secretly?  Dr Phil.  His guests make me feel well adjusted.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?
I would rather slit my wrists.

13. Date someone older or younger?
At this point, if I could score a 24 year old, that would be awesome.

14. One place you could travel right now?
To the bathroom.

15. Do you use umbrellas?
Sure.  I also use toilet paper.  I am not sure get why this is a question.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?
OH CANADA! OH CANADA!  Blah blah blah blah something or other....

17. Favorite cheese?
Any kind that won't make me feel like I have an alien growing in my bowels.

18. The Smith’s or The Cure?
Neither.  That was my generation's version of Emo.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?
I prefer well hung.

20. Best job you ever had?
Working at the used bookstore.  Until I realized that my boss was extremely unstable and weird.

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Part Two

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21. Did you go to your high school prom?
No.  I barely showed up at school.

22. Perfect time to wake up?
4pm.

23. Perfect time to go to bed?
4 pm.

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?
I only use my queen to get into the gay bar.

25. Ever been in a car accident?
Yes.  Totally not my fault.  He should have seen that I wasn't paying the least bit of attention.

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither?
Used to be my dad.  But then he turned into a miserable old man so now it's my mom.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?
22 (I'm 34).

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?
1975-1985.  If I was of the age of sexual consent during the hair metal days, I would have been the trashiest, most aggressive groupie the world has ever seen.

I totally don't understand why the girly look was sexy back then
but for some reason, it totally was.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?
When I was a kid I had these awful white shoes that had a row of safety pins side by side.  My mother hated them which meant I thought they were fucking incredible.

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?
I burned pretty much any mementos from high school on purpose.

31. Were you in track and field?
Hahahahahahahahahaha!  I only run if I am being chased.  And that doesn't ever happen anymore.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?
If being slutty was considered a talent, then yes.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?
BLASPHEMY!!!!

34. Allergic to?
Motherhood, manual labor, heartfelt sentimental-type conversation, emotional intimacy, and cockroaches (the last one is true.  I was actually allergy tested as a kid and that is the only one I really remember).

35. Favorite fruit?
Gay Shawn...Oh and this banana:

HOLY SHIT!!! I forgot to add the link to where I stole it from!  You totally cannot trust a thief!

Click here for SUNDAY STEALING.

Because you want to know why I blog.

Sunday Stealing!!! Because I LOVE telling you everything!

1. Why did you sign up for writing your blog?
Because Motherhood Sucks!  Duh!  No really, I was insane with Post-Partum Depression and needed to vent.

2. Why did you choose your blog's name? What does it mean?
See above.  I think my blogs name is pretty self explanatory. 

3. Did you ever had another blog?
Yes.  I had one called "SelenaLand" for a long time where I just posted random things I liked and ranted about current events.  I have started and deleted a few others revolving around cancelled television shows.  Oh, and my Depression blog.

4. What do you do online when you're not on your blog?
Mostly I look at Internet porn and radical Christian apocalypse sites.  Usually at the same time.

5. How about when you're not on the computer?
I mostly just drink a lot of coffee and try not to have to kill anyone.  I haven't slapped ANY total strangers this week and that is surprising because Black Friday was this week!

6. What do you wish people who read your blog knew about you?
That I don't TOTALLY hate motherhood.  Only like 85%.  ;-)

7. What is your favorite community in the blogosphere?
I like the Write on Edge people. 

8. What is your philosophy on your blog layout?
I don't have a "philosophy".  I just picked a template. 

9. Tell me about your picture you use to represent you on your blog.
My Profile pic is of a 50s era mother taking something out of the oven and telling her daughter "Just because Mommy loves you doesn't mean Mommy likes you."  Or some variation on that.  That is the theme of a good portion of my posts. 

10. Pick 3 random blogs from your blog roll and tell us about them.
Well, People I Want to Punch in the Throat needs very little explanation.  Attracted to Shiny Things never EVER disappoints me, and what mother wouldn't LOVE Moms Who Drink and Swear (besides really douchy ones)?

11. What features do you think your blog should have that it doesn't currently?
I think it should alert me as soon as anyone interesting visits and then allow me to chat directly with that person.  But I get to set the standards of what "interesting" entails.  I don't want to make friends with some asshole who has 35 ferrets and lives in a basement.

12. What do you consider the 10 most "telling" interests that we would infer from your blog persona?
Hmmm.  Obviously I am into self-torture and masochism. I clearly like to watch a lot of television. I spend WAAAAAAY too much time on the interwebs ("IT'S A SERIES OF TUBES!!!).  I enjoy pie but won't bake one.  I enjoy eating out at chain restaurants.  I like to be left alone...HOW IS THAT ONLY 6 INTERESTS?...I am interested in bad jokes and dark humor.  Perhaps you would somehow intuit that I am also interested in world domination and obtaining super powers, but I don't think I have made that evident on my blog.  Oh and my interest in fire. 

13. Do you have any unique interests that you have never shared before? What are they?
Sloths playing woodwind instruments would be a unique thing that I would be totally interested in.  And I have never even thought of it, let alone shared it. 

14. The best thing about blogging is all of the friends that you make, aside from those folks, do you think your blog has fans?
I like to believe so.  Thousands of people can't possibly just be coming to my blog after searching "Justin Bieber Bulge" like my stats say (true story).  The CLEARLY secretly love my blog. 

15. What's your current obsession? What about it captures your imagination?
I am currently obsessed with getting through the holiday season without having to enter the asylum (again).  It's going to be tough, but I now have a pill for that.

16. What are you glad you did but haven't really had a chance to post about?
I refuse to admit that having my child was the best thing that ever happened to me and she is a truly fantastic kid.  Telling anyone that would completely tarnish my reputation. 

17. How many people that first became a blog friend, have you met face to face?
None.  I have to keep my identity a total secret, which is why I use my real name. 

18. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy?
I started my Depression blog because Motherhood is depressing enough. 

19. What's a question that you'd love to answer?
"Tell me why people around the world are completely enthralled by you? In other words, how did you become a millionaire from writing your blog?" 

20. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and regretted it?
Not sure what all this entails.

21. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and thought, “Was that overdue!”
Again, I don't understand.  If a person whose blog I read and commented on and interacted with started to act like an asshole, I would simply stop the interaction.  Is this a real problem out in blog land?

From SUNDAY STEALING

Sunday Stealing

Who doesn't love talking about themselves?  That's why I love SUNDAY STEALING


1. Tell us about something that made you laugh last night.
I watched Russel Brand in Arthur.  I love him for some reason even though he is mostly just really drunk.

2. What were you doing at 8 PM last night?
Laying with Lila trying to get her to stay still for 45 seconds so she would fall asleep. Because if she stays still for just a few seconds she's out.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Watching some crap on PBS

4. What happened to you in 2006? (Feel free to republish an old post from '06.)
Nothing.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Leave me alone.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
like 4 cups of coffee and three glasses of water.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Um...Silver/gray?

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
I pay for my decision to have a kid EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY!

9. Where were you last night?
Home.  At least that's my alibi.

10. What color is your front door?
White.  Lila wants to paint it purple.  I say WE SHOULD DO IT!

11. Where do you keep your change?
Mostly in the couch cushions

12. What’s the weather like today?
Hot but breezy.  Much nicer than yesterday.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
The BEST?  Coffee, because it's the best idea ever.  My favorite?  Chocolate Chip.

14. What excites you?
Nothing lately. I need something.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No.  I did it a few months ago and I hate it just as much as I did before I did it.

16. Are you over the age of 35?
No.  Not yet.

17. Do you talk a lot?
Sometimes.  I tend to talk loudly.  It makes up for my lack of saying anything useful.

18. Do you watch Franklin and Bash?
WHO AND WHAT?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
No.  But I have a girl friend called Steve.

20. Do you make up your own words?
Not usually.  Unless I am drunk. 

21. Are you a jealous person?
Yes. Extremely.  I am even jealous of you for getting to read this instead of type it.

22. What does the last text message you received say?
I can't say it here.  It will incriminate me.

23. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Bed hopefully. 

24. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
My kid.  But she's four and she's learning.

25. Are you crushing on anyone that you shouldn't be?
Only Satan and an unnamed con man.

It Starts Today

I suck at self-motivation.  Seriously.  I have found that I always want the cookie or Frappuccino more than I want a hot body in that moment and I almost always pick NAP over EXERCISE when I have an hour to myself. 

But here's the thing.  I can't afford to buy any more fat clothes.  And the ones I have are growing tight.  It's time to face what I have been dreading.

In my mind I look like this:



But in reality I look more like this:



I am afraid to step on the scale but here goes:

155 lbs.  Shit. 

I am joining Wacky Jacqui in her fitness quest and will be posting weekly about my progress. 

Here are my basic goals. I am an underachiever and believe that I should aim low and not be put off by my lack of results so here goes:

• I want to be about 135 lbs so I have 20 lbs to lose.
• I will walk for 30 minutes 3 times a week AND for 15 minutes on my lunch breaks (3 days a week).
• If I go out to eat (which we seem to do a lot in the summer) I will take half my entree home because the portions are always too big. And NO DESSERT.
• NO eating after 8pm.  We always eat dinner early and there is no reason to snack at bedtime.
• 8-10 glasses of water per day. 
• More Fruits and Veggies
• Less ice cream.

Truly, if I can just start to feel less lethargic, that is enough for me. 

Anyone want to join up?  I will be posting my progress on Fitness Fridays and would love if some of you joined us.

Selena

Sunday Stealing

So I keep saying I love these things and today I found a perfect way to post while still being short on inspiration AND getting to do one of my favorite things...answering random questions.  Thank you, SUNDAY STEALING.

No, I don't know why it starts at number 41...

41. Who was the last person you went shopping with?
Stevie.  Did you know that EVERY YEAR in June, teachers buy eachother gifts?  I would HATE that.


42. What is something you need to go shopping for?
A therapist.  Seriously.  I like mine but I am currently going through a university and she is like 14 with ZERO real life experience.

43. Do you have the same first name as one of your relatives?
Um.  No.  I was named after a fictional character who is molested by her father then kills him and buries him in a pig sty.  Nope...not kidding.

44. What kind of car do (did) your parents drive?
Um...Am I 12?  My parents have a Hyundai.  Is this really interesting to anyone?  They're like 70.

45. Are you rich?
Yes...with love.  (I almost puked while typing that)

46. If you could spend one intimate night with a celebrity, no questions asked, never to see them again, who would it be?
I used to say Marky Mark but he's pretty lame lately.  I guess I will go with Adrian Brody.  Don't ask me why.  I like skinny guys.

47. I dont know where 47 went...


48. What famous person do you look like? Feel free to use this facial match program by clicking here. Show us at least the celeb photo.
OK.  This stupid program gave me Angellina Joli, who I ASSURE YOU, I do not look anything like.  So I will go with this instead:

We have similar arms.

49. What is the most daring thing you've done recently?
Told the truth about why I am unhappy?

50. Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail?
PASS.  Unless you bellieve in Immaculate Conception.

51. Which sex scandal of the last decade bothers you the most?
Weinergate.  Because he was one of the good ones.  Plus I want in on that.

52. Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
Not currently but I did date a guy who turned out to be a con man and who managed to escape a 55 year sentence on a technicality.

53. What are your plans (or what have you done) for this weekend?
Nothing of note.  I actually plan to nap and send Lila to the neighbor kid's birthday party so I can nap some more.

54. Have you ever woken up and not known where you were?
Um.  Never. Mostly because I am not a huge drinker.  But I have woken up in the middle of the night wondering who I was.  IS that the same thing?

55. What were you doing at midnight last night??
Sleeping.  Seriously.  I am a mom.

56. Last restaurant you went to?
Chipotle yesterday.  I LOVE me some burritos.

57. How many hours did you sleep for last night?
Honestly?  10.  Plus a 3 hour nap yesterday.  And I plan to nap today as per 53 above.

58. Which is more distracting: Sexting while driving or sex while driving?
Sexting while working is a recipe for disaster.  Don't do it kids.  I am against doing much of anything while driving...except eating.  I can do that.

59. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Yes.  My mother is waiting for me to come get that kid out of her hair.

60. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
Not since I was 8 months pregnant and needed to put pants on (rather than a skirt) for childbirth class...which I never ended up needing because I had a c-section for my breach baby.