Friday, July 15, 2011

Mean Evil Morning Mommy

Every morning it is exactly the same thing.  Lila gets up and goes downstairs and a few minutes later I come clomping exhaustedly down the same stairs barely awake and heavy with sleep and Lila comes RUNNING to me excitedly trying to jump up onto me for a hug as if we had been apart for the length of a prison sentence or something.

Most times I barely catch her and she throws herself at one leg contentedly rubbing the side of her face against me as I struggle to keep my balance.  I pay her no mind as I limp steadily to the kitchen to make myself coffee.  I admit it - My cup of coffee is the only thing that makes me capable of putting up with the absurd amount of streaming energy that the kid has first thing in the morning.

I remember KNOWING that I was not allowed to ask my mother for ANYTHING until she had a few minutes to sit down with her cup of coffee and have a few sips in peace.  I knew it.  I understood that if I did ask for anything I would get a response like this:

That's my mother before her morning coffee.

I just KNEW far back as I remember.  So why is it that MY kid, as whip smart as she is, feels the need to help me start my day with demands for 10 different cartoons, none of which are on right now and specific pieces of cereal with a certain very measured amount of milk, when I can barely function enough to remember to flush the toilet?  Have I not traumatized her enough to make her understand that Mommy needs her coffee first?  Do I have to turn into this EVERY morning:

Because no matter how many times I say nicely "just give Mommy a few minutes to wake up" I get the same whining and complaining and demanding which always turns me into the evil Mommy who won't feed her child. 

Is it wrong that I just need like 15 minutes?  Seriously.  Just long enough to brew a pot of coffee, sit down have like 5 sips so that I can be more like this:


  1. Why don't they get it yet. My 7 year old knows, I will get him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Anything in between He can get for himself. I don't lock the pantry- and some of the crap in there is some ungodly color that food should just not be.( I don't buy a lot of junk- and when I do I only buy it during school vacations). I can't stand the constant..I am hungry- you have feet get up and go get something that will stay with you if your soooo stavin'marvin. and Eat the breakfast, lunch and dinner I give you!!! - ok my rant is over.

  2. This would be why my husband deals with the three-month-old in the morning currently. I am not human until I've made it to work and have a chance to sit down with a cup of coffee!

  3. Strangely.. and thankfully, my children have realized this. They leave me alone until I speak to them first. It helps that they are old enough to get their own damn breakfast.

  4. Hopefully once she's a little bit older, things will get better.

    My 10 year old, for the most part, gets this now. However, the constant whining for breakfast on Saturday and Sunday mornings makes me with I kept a hammer handy. He is fully capable of getting *something* to eat until either I or the hubby are staring past our eye lids. Have you developed your Ice stare yet (you know the one, the moms have been giving since the dawn of ages...) because with my kid, he sees that and has learned to run...

  5. the moment we hear our three year old start to stir in the morning, i suddenly have a desperate need for a cigarette and run like hell.

  6. Selena that is so true,i remember those days!good post i enjoyed it.


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