I was fooling around with the interwebs again clicking various links from blogs I like and opened up Mama Kats site and found this prompt:
"Soundtrack of your life: Pick 10 songs that you would have on a soundtrack for your life, pick a line from each that you most identify with and write a short statement of why this song made it."
This got me thinking about all the songs that have been very mood enhancing and/or devastatingly depressing at certain points in my life and so I am going to give you a play by play of the songs playing during the movie version of:
Mostly True Fiction: Why Selena's Life Sucked but Kind of Didn't
Opening Credits: A sweeping scene of rain clouds over a volatile body of water with breaks of sunshine beaming through in some spots like at the end of a thunderstorm.
Song: Ordinary World by Duran Duran ("What is happening to me...crazy some say...where is the light that I recognize...GONE AWAY")
Childhood: I consider this any time BEFORE I was 11. This time is mostly about my family including the drunk Polish side of my family who I spent most of my time with. I went to Catholic school and was raised watching MTV with my then-teenaged brother and he used to get somewhat protective over me growing up too fast because he was convinced I would end up a whore. (I think he was on to something)
Song: Sister Christian by Night Ranger ( "Sister Christian there's so much in life..Don't you give it up befrore your time is due...It's true." )
Summer of 1989- I discover boys: My friend who I will just call "Pippie" and I find a skateboard shop in our neighborhood filled with boys who are too old for us and total rebel punk rock types. PERFECT!
Song: Boys of Summer by Don Henley (or the remake by the Ataris which I will quote here) "Out on the Road Today I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac. A little voice inside my head said 'dont look back, you can never look back'...Thought I knew what love was...what did I know? Those days are gone forever...I should just let them go..."
Summer of 1991 - Selena turns into a Hood rat: We thought we were really cool and all gangsta and all that but really we were just a bunch of stupid white kids. Around this time, my mother's depression was at it's worst and so to cope I hooked up with a guy who used to slap me around. I also ended up hospitalized for depression but when summer came around the bunch of us took over a local schoolyard and terrorized the kids there.
Song: Around the Way Girl by LL Cool J ( I can't quote it because it's too cheesy but it fits, trust me).
1997: Groupie Alert!: I wrote about it a little before and I am not going into any detail other than to say that I really DO need to do a full post about it.
I will just pick my song: Plowed by Sponge ("In a world of human wreckage...")
From there until 2004 before I moved to Arizona: Holy shit. I was crazy. I am still not sure what my problem was. But the jist is that I had many MANY boyfriends. This may be a great place for a montage, where they shoe me meeting a perfectly nice guy, having sex with him and then turning psycho and throwing shit at him and/or stalking him and finding that he actually IS married after all. Seriously. It was a fucked up time in my life.
Song: Crazy on You by Heart ("If we still have time, we might still get by...Every time I think about it, I wanna cry...") I do. I want to cry when I think about that time.
2004-2007 - Move to Arizona: I just up and left. I had a friend out there and I was unemployed having been fired for Sexual Harassment (I totally didn't do what I was accused of although I admit to plenty of harassment in other circumstances) and the guy I just broke up with thought I was going to be his wife someday. Seriously. So I just left. I spent a lot of time sitting outside in the hot desert air wishing for rain. And the song really describes what life was like there
Song: No Rain by Blind Melon ("...And I don't understand why I sleep all day, and start to complain when there's no rain. And all I can do is read a book to stay away. And it rips my life away but its a great escape...")
2007-2008 - Baby: Lila NEVER slept. NEVER. NEVER. And I needed some medication for depression and the unrelenting anxiety I felt because I never slept and was going crazy. I stayed on the Xanax long after I needed it because it kept me from losing my mind during those nights where I was up and awake after getting up for the 3rd time with the kid.
Song: Mothers Little Helper by the Rolling Stones ("...you can tranquilize your mind, so go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper. And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight...")
2008 - Move back to Syracuse: We were broke. Bens business had gone under and we really wanted our kid to be near family. It was a bittersweet move because we had both hated growing up here and had left for good reasons. But here we were going back home. (You shoule know that compared to AZ with its 95% days WITH sunshine, Syracuse has at least moderate clouds about 90% of the time)
Song: Mama I'm Comin' Home by Ozzy Osbourne ( "...and I don't care about the sunshine yeah..cause mama, mama i'm comin home..")
Now: This part would be about dealing (or not really "dealing") with a toddler/preschooler who is strong-willed (a nice way of saying evil). The song sums up what I do all day.
Song: Shout at the Devil by Motley Crue.