glut·tony (noun) \ˈglət-nē, ˈglə-tə-nē\ 1: excess in eating or drinking; 2: greedy or excessive indulgence
How does Motherhood make me gluttonous? Does anyone else hide the snacks? I love Oreos. I love ice cream. I love chocolate bars and marshmallows and chips and salsa and dip and anything covered in sugar. I also have a three year old kid who is limited to the amount of this stuff that she gets.
Lila is still too small to reach the upper compartments of things and so it is easy to hide these things from her and tell her we don't keep them in the house. Part of this is the real genuine reasonable concern that she not get too much junk food and sugar and crap (as my usual readers know, she gets plenty at Grandma's) but there is another part of me. A darker more sinister (and probably more honest) part of me knows that I will never share my stash with her because then there's less for me.
I used to eat ice cream every night. EVERY NIGHT. Lila would go to bed and I would pull out the chocolate ice cream and melt some peanut butter in the microwave and crush some Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups to throw on top of it. I want to repeat: I DID THIS EVERY NIGHT (hence the fat stories).
Lila does not know this. Lila has never had chocolate ice cream (she always asks for vanilla) and she certainly would never do anything so crazy and waste candy by combining it with ice cream. I don't consider it a waste at all. And in fact, I dread the day when she can see the counter tops and begins begging me for a little bit of what is mine.
Lately, I have been trying to be better. I don't do ice cream nightly anymore (just on the weekends) and I try to just do ice cream on its own without the bells and whistles of candy and melted ecstasy along with it. But I still don't want to share. I want to eat it all. I want that whole half gallon of chocolate-y goodness in my belly and I want it now.
The only thing that stops me is that I know I will be a fat glutton and I will hate myself in the morning.
Poor poor Lila. She has no idea what she's up against.
Based on the prompt at http://thereddressclub.blogspot.com/