Friday, May 13, 2011


glut·tony (noun) \ˈglət-nē, ˈglə-tə-nē\ 1: excess in eating or drinking; 2: greedy or excessive indulgence

How does Motherhood make me gluttonous?  Does anyone else hide the snacks?  I love Oreos.  I love ice cream.  I love chocolate bars and marshmallows and chips and salsa and dip and anything covered in sugar.  I also have a three year old kid who is limited to the amount of this stuff that she gets.  
Lila is still too small to reach the upper compartments of things and so it is easy to hide these things from her and tell her we don't keep them in the house.  Part of this is the real genuine reasonable concern that she not get too much junk food and sugar and crap (as my usual readers know, she gets plenty at Grandma's) but there is another part of me.  A darker more sinister (and probably more honest) part of me knows that I will never share my stash with her because then there's less for me.
I used to eat ice cream every night.  EVERY NIGHT.  Lila would go to bed and I would pull out the chocolate ice cream and melt some peanut butter in the microwave and crush some Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups to throw on top of it.  I want to repeat:  I DID THIS EVERY NIGHT (hence the fat stories).
Lila does not know this.  Lila has never had chocolate ice cream (she always asks for vanilla) and she certainly would never do anything so crazy and waste candy by combining it with ice cream.  I don't consider it a waste at all.  And in fact, I dread the day when she can see the counter tops and begins begging me for a little bit of what is mine. 
Lately, I have been trying to be better.  I don't do ice cream nightly anymore (just on the weekends) and I try to just do ice cream on its own without the bells and whistles of candy and melted ecstasy along with it.  But I still don't want to share.  I want to eat it all.  I want that whole half gallon of chocolate-y goodness in my belly and I want it now.
The only thing that stops me is that I know I will be a fat glutton and I will hate myself in the morning.
Poor poor Lila.  She has no idea what she's up against.

Based on the prompt at


  1. I feel your pain.

    It's a good thing I don't have kids. We'd have to arm wrestle for the Suzy Q's and I'm not above cheating to get my way.

  2. Yeah - I've totally got my stash of goodies hidden up high. I did give a bit-o-chocolate to the tot a week or so ago, and now she keeps standing in the kitchen pointing......
    Great post! :)

  3. I try to hide sweets from my kids too. They get plenty regardless :) But my biggest issue is that while I might eat treats I DO still eat actual food too...something I know they won't do if they have filled up on sweets.

    Visiting from RDC

  4. I want ice cream with peanut butter now! I am always thinking about sugary treats. I make cookies, seek out milkshakes, sneak in a doughnut or two... sigh. I think about eating better, but that makes me sad. I do nothing for myself, and sugar indulgence makes me happy.

    I love your blog theme! Sometimes it does suck! Thanks for saying it out loud. Visiting from TRDC.

  5. O, man... you sound like ME! lol I used to hoover ice cream like there was no tomorrow. Definitely out of sight of the kids.
    I just posted something similar about my version of crack.

  6. Every mom needs her own snack. Mine are fruit roll ups because I always ate them too fast as a kid to really appreciate their synthetic, stick to your molar goodness back then. Haribo gummy bears too. My husband and I have had to have lots of serious talks about how those two things ARE NOT FOR FAMILY CONSUMPTION. I keep em stashed and the only time I get caught is when they find me passed out in bed with the wrappers and a pink stained tounge!

  7. I know how you feel. My kids actually hide the goodies from ME!

  8. Okay.. all I saw was the list of yummy goodies... now I want icecream.. man..

  9. Yeah, I must confess I have to sneak snacks. I mean, if I shared, there'd never be any good stuff in the house :-).

  10. One of my low points was when i was literally crouched behind the kitchen counter eating chocolate so my kids couldn't see me and ask for some. it's mine! MINE!


  11. Yes, ice cream. Why is it so good?!

    I get this, I do.

    We adore it, know it's bad for us, want better for them. Ugh.

    Pass the oreos? :)


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